Husbands and Wives

Today, I asked my facebook friends to post their favorite husband/wife scriptures. I got some pretty good responses: scriptures about arguing, submitting, loving, sex and everything in between!

My absolute favorite scripture about the husband and wife relationship can be found in 1 Peter 3. Don't get me wrong, the whole chapter is good - actually all of the scriptures I received in response were good - but there is something in particular about verse 7 of 1 Peter 3 that I absolutely love:

"Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered."

It addresses husbands specifically (though it is wise instruction for wives as well). It instructs husbands to behave unselfishly towards their wives. A husband should know and understand his wife - including her wants and needs, goals and desires - and give her honor because she is deserving of honor. Scratch that, because God commands it!

"As unto the weaker vessel" is a reference to the wife being physically weaker - we know this because the "vessel" is the body. Therefore, the wife is not mentally, emotionally, or spiritually weaker than the husband.

Husbands and wives are to be heirs together. This phrase indicates to me (along with parallel scriptures like those found in Ephesians 5) that the wife is not inferior to the husband. They are in fact equal, but with separate roles. The wife's voluntary submission to her husband does not mean that she is beneath him, nor should she be treated as subservient or "less than."

The final phrase "that your prayers be not hindered" let's me know that the way a husband treats (or mistreats) his wife could hinder his spiritual relationship with God. Malachi 2:13-15 conveys a similar idea in saying that God would not regard a man's offering because he has dealt treacherously with the wife of his youth. Treachery does not just mean being unfaithful, but also being unreliable or showing indifference toward the marriage vows.

What did we vow when we got married?

For Christian husbands, the vow was to love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her. Do husbands truly understand this kind of self sacrificing love? Husbands ought to love their own wives as themselves (I am paraphrasing Ephesians 5). That is saying a lot. Christ gave His very life for the church. Are Christian husbands willing to give their lives for their wives? It's hard to say you would give your life if you are not willing to give the things that mean far less than a life.

How about simply 'doing unto others?' If we truly want to experience the joy of God's design for a godly marriage, a husband should treat his wife as well as he would treat himself.